Baby Barbie

Hiii! It’s Baby Barbie, and before you get any ideas about me being in charge, let me set the record straight: I’m the baby here. I’m the one in the nappy, the one sucking on the dummy, the one making grabby hands at you from my cot. And I absolutely love it.

There’s something deliciously freeing about letting go of everything and just being a baby. No responsibilities, no decisions, no pretending to be a grown up. Just soft nappies and warm bottles and the feeling of someone’s hands lifting me onto the changing table like I weigh nothing at all. That’s my world, and I want to invite you into it. Whether you want to be my caretaker, my playmate, or something altogether more interesting, I’m game.

Being diapered is my absolute obsession. I can’t get enough of it. The crinkle when I walk, the bulk between my legs, the way a fresh nappy feels when someone’s just finished powdering me and taping me up all snug and tight. I go through so many nappies in a day, partly because I genuinely use them, and partly because I adore the changing process so much that I sometimes have little accidents on purpose just to get another one. Naughty? Absolutely. But look at this face. You can’t stay cross with Baby Barbie for long.

Baby talk is my first language at this point. I’ve spent so long in my little headspace that the goo goos and ga gas just tumble out naturally. There’s something about letting my vocabulary shrink down to almost nothing that makes me feel so wonderfully helpless and small. I’ll babble at you while you try to figure out what I want, and you’ll have to watch my eyes and my body language because my words certainly won’t help you. It’s a game we play, and I never get tired of it.

Now, I should mention that I specialise in extreme age play. That means I go deeper and further than most. I’m not just playing at being little. I inhabit it completely. We’re talking full regression: the baby talk, the crawling, the total dependence on whoever is looking after me. I become so small and so helpless that you’ll forget there’s an adult in there at all. It’s intense and intimate and unlike anything you’ve experienced with anyone else. I don’t do things by halves, love.

What makes our calls special is that you get to decide what kind of experience we have. Maybe you’re the stern mummy who catches me playing with my nappy and decides to teach me a lesson. Maybe you’re the gentle daddy who cradles me and tells me I’m his perfect little girl. Maybe you’re another baby and we’re having a playdate that goes in directions our mummies definitely didn’t plan for. I’m flexible, I’m imaginative, and I’m always, always up for something new.

So if you want a baby who’s genuinely enthusiastic about every squidgy, crinkly, messy aspect of this lifestyle, you’ve found her. Pick up the phone and call 1-888-430-2010. Ask for Baby Barbie. I’ll be waiting in my cot, nappy freshly changed and dummy in mouth, ready to play. Don’t keep me waiting too long though. I get fussy.